Lonely Cloud
by CaffeineAcidity
Summary: Yamato begins modeling again & it consumes him, making him egotistic. He leaves Mei, saying they don't fit together anymore. As Mei has difficulty dealing with Yamato's rejection she ends up shutting everyone out, but as Kai manages to break through, mistakes are made & Mei must try to figure out if she can learn to love & trust people again.
1. Lonely Cloud

**Note: This is my first story ever. I am not too good at writing & because of how stressed I am about doing this there may be a fair share of typos in there, or sudden change in past/presence in storytelling, haha, I am so very sorry, I promise the *next chapter will (hopefully at least...) be better! ^^**

***that is if you WANT a "next chapter" ... let me know! :)**

* * *

3 months had passed, Yamato had started modeling again & it slowly consumed all his time. Yamato had told Mei they just didn't "fit" & that she "wasn't worth the effort" 1 month ago, after having been cold & unresponsive for a month before, leaving Mei in knots of stress & paranoia. His model work had taken over, supplying him with huge amounts of ego & he spent all his time with Megumi. Once he had broken it off with Mei, he & Megumi were seen kissing & holding hands only 1 day later, inseparable ever since. Mei had tried to walk up to him at school, only to have him make excuses & walk away. The texts she sent him either didn't get answered or got answered by a short & cold response. People all over the school were talking about how Yamato had left Mei for Megumi. They all said that they saw it coming, & that it was the only logical choice for Yamato, he should have never wasted his time with that shy freak Mei.

Mei felt the depression sink in as her fears were once again confirmed by the actions of those she let too close & opened up to. People betray you & hurt you in the end, no matter how long the bliss of "friendship & trust" manages to last each time, it always ends in pain. Why bother to sign up for that kind of pain by making friends? Friendships are overrated...

* * *

Sitting at her desk in the classroom, waiting for the class to start, Mei found herself watching Yamato next to Megumi, chatting & laughing. Mei hadn't talked to Yamato in 30 days now. Those 30 days of silence had given Mei more than enough time to try to close off her feelings for him, like she should have the moment he first talked to her. This was her fault after all, letting her feelings get the best of her, giving into that impossible ray of hope like an innocent child gives into the hope of magic. And just like the child grows to realize that magic does not exist in this world, she grew to realize that she was right all along, people do not last in your life. They push their way in, only to take everything they can get & then walk out, leaving you empty & wounded. That's what she felt like now, empty, as she stared at Yamato, her face emotionless, but if you looked closely at her eyes you could see the pain of all the memories she had shared with him, believing once, in the magic of lasting relationships.

Finally the teacher walked into the classroom, snapping Mei out of her thoughts & emotions. This was the final class of the day & Mei could not stay focused one bit. She stared silently out the window, watching the leaves on the trees sway a bit as the wind pushed them & the blue skies, oh, those blue skies with a single cloud floating alone across the sky. It reminded her of herself. Cloud that preferred to be alone, instead of getting mixed up with other clouds, only to end up as rain, crashing into the hard ground, having to work its way through the soil & earth until finally the sun evaporated it back up into the sky.

She felt the familiar sting in her eyes that you get just before the tears start to swell up & closed her eyes quickly. Pushing all thoughts away she got through the class by a miracle. As the bell rang, Mei got out as fast but discretely as possible. After her rejection by Yamato she had closed everyone off. If Yamato could leave her, so could the rest of her "friends" & she had decided to beat them to it by avoiding everyone she knew.

* * *

During the walk home, all the memories of her & Yamato walking home, laughing, his charming & irresistible smile, came back to her as vivid as they were when they happened. The tears started swelling up again & this time she didn't hold them back. She was alone, why should she?

As soon as she let it all go, & the tears came flooding down her face she heard distant footsteps.

"Mei!" she heard a familiar voice shout from behind her. Recognizing the voice immediately she felt stings deep in her chest & stomach, the tears were already on the move & once they start it is easier said than done to stop them. She considered running away like she had been doing this past month, but her whole body was weak from the emotions & crying. She wiped the running tears quickly & used the sleeve of her sweater to hide the new ones running down her cheeks. She turned around with an awkward & desperate smile on her face, in no way matching the pain that could be easily spotted in her eyes, to see Kai running towards her. As soon as he was close enough to see her face clearly he came to a quick stop, taking in the sight of Mei's eyes, swollen & teary, her face red. In a fraction of a second he took in the sight of Mei, & then took off again, that much faster, reaching Mei & grabbing her shoulders tightly, pulling her close to him. He looked into her eyes for a moment before hugging her tightly. Mei was so surprised at first, her muscles stiff & her eyes wide open, taking in what just happened. But after a month of not talking to anyone but Marshmallow, her cat, this familiar feeling of closeness felt so warm & welcoming that in her weak state she let herself ease in to it, closing her eyes as the tears ran in a quiet stream down her face & onto Kai's sweater.

They stayed like that for a while until Kai stood back & looked at her with a gentle understanding expression, an expression that said "I know you're in pain, I understand & its alright, **I'm here**"

Mei looked at his eyes dumbfounded, she had never been this close to Kai or seen Kai like this before. Kai then gently stroked the last tears off Mei's cheeks, making her flinch for a second. Looking down, Mei saw 2 stains on Kai's sweater after her teary eyes & immediately felt bad & awkward. Seeing her expression, Kai responded quickly.

"Hey, its alright." The sound of his voice startled Mei a bit, since they had been standing there quiet for so long. "Feeling any better?" he added in a caring tone. Mei nodded, the whole situation a bit too unreal for her brain to process all the information at the usual speed. Nodding was as much as she could handle for the time being.

His tight grip on her shoulders felt reassuring. Her mind had been racing for so long & somehow it felt like his tight grip was not only on her shoulders, but much deeper. Calming her, it gave her a peace of mind, as she could focus on his touch instead of her thoughts. But as she focused on his touch she felt a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. She looked up to see Kai staring straight into her her eyes, their long friendship reflected in his deep blue eyes. How he had always been there by her side when things were rough, always ready to cheer her up when she was down & catch her when she fell. She felt herself heat up, emotions forming & tearing up inside of her. His eyes were like black holes, once you got too close, there was no way out.

Lost in his eyes, she hadn't noticed how much closer he had gotten until his lips touched hers, so lightly that you could barely feel it, but still enough to send electric currents throughout her body, tensing her up, overheating her entire body, causing her lungs to forget how to breathe for a moment. Her eyes widened, startled by his lips & the feelings they had caused, but before she could let her mind carefully analyze everything about it, he kissed her. It was a deep, affectionate & passionate kiss, filled with unsaid words & bottled up emotions. His hands now tight around her waist, her mind assured her that that this was right. This was how it should have been, always.

She felt like she could trust Kai, but at the same time, she felt so incredibly childish for thinking so. The longer she thought about it, the more she realized how stupid this whole situation was. She had just been burned, & now she was reaching back into the flame. Realizing what was happening she broke off the kiss, staring at Kai for a moment, telling herself to keep away from the fire. The burning fire that lures you in with warmth & light, but burns when you get closer. "Mei.." he started, but she knew that in her weak state she was in danger of jumping head first into the flame, so she did what seemed rational to her at the moment, _she ran away._

* * *

Home in the safety of her room, her mind was a whirlpool of chaos.

What had just happened?

How could she have allowed it to happen?

& did she really just RUN AWAY AFTER KISSING KAI?!

She tried to push the thoughts away but they just kept coming back, stronger than ever. Marshmallow cuddled next to her feet as she sat on the floor next to her bed, holding her knees tight to her chest, she let her head drop with a deep sigh. A year ago her life was simple & plain. People were such a hassle. She stood up, grabbed a towel & went into the bathroom, all in quick motion, as if the thoughts would go away if she just moved fast enough. She started the shower & got in, letting the water pour over her. Soon her legs gave in & she sat on the floor under the shower as she felt the energy completely drained out of her.

After the shower she went to her bed & fell straight asleep.

When she woke up the morning after she felt well rested & ready to face the day, but as she slowly came to, the yesterday started coming back to her, & she could feel the stress grow & curl around her chest, creating a pressure like never before.

**Could she face going to school after the way she left things with Kai?**

* * *

**Please let me know if you want me to continue, & if you would be so very kind, leave a review please! It would make my day! 3**


	2. It's more exciting to be a heart

She picked out her outfit with shaking hands, her mind in ruins trying to accept the events of the previous day. What would she do when she got to school & had to face Kai? Could she run away yet again? Mei wanted to stand her ground but how could she when she didn't know what she wanted?

Her heart & mind were torn. She liked Kai, a lot, but how often would she have to touch the fire to know that it burns? Why couldn't her heart understand that nothing good comes from love, no matter how much you try to believe it does? The heavy ball of anxiety that had taken its home in her stomach twisted & turned, making her feel sick. She lay down in her bed, defeated by her thoughts, pulling her legs tight to her chest, trying to get some peace of mind for just a bit.

The sickness grew more & more till she bolted up & into the bathroom, where she threw up.

Her mother came to her concerned, "Mei dear, are you alright? Feeling sick?" she asked.

Mei gave a low moan as she sat next to the toilet. "Maybe you should stay home today.." Mei's mother said, & Mei did not refuse that offer.

After a while she finally felt a bit better so she got up & went to her bed.

Her mind still twisting & turning around her & Kai & the events & school. She couldn't bear it anymore, so she tried to fall asleep as fast as she could.

* * *

She woke up more tired than she had ever been & felt the quenching feeling of hunger take over her body. She stumbled onto her feet & into the kitchen to get something to eat. Her mind had given up on racing over the matter. Instead she was just sort of numb towards it all.

She sat down and ate a little bit, finally feeling calm, & slightly dizzy, her eyes not cooperating with the mission to keep them open, too tired, she leaned over the table & closed her eyes.

* * *

She bolted up to the sound of the doorbell waking her up. She didn't know how long she had fallen asleep for, & her head was chaos yet again. _Who is it? Why is someone here? What should I do?!_

Of course the only logical thing to do was to answer the doorbell, but her inner paranoia was whispering all kinds of frightening things in her head. She walked up to the door, hesitant, she opened the door. Immediately after doing so, she got sick again, the earth seemed to start spinning a lot faster, & she regretted the decision immensly.

"Hey, I hope its alright that I came by"

She heard words, but the terror in her mind clouded them, she could only think about how helpless she was in the situation. Of all situations, this one she couldn't run from. She was deep in chaotic thoughts when a hand touched her shoulder & snapped her out of it.

"Are you alright? You look like you're really not feeling too well" Kai said.

She looked up, facing him. Her body filled with the internal battle of love & hate. She was still as ice on the outside, but inside of her, volcanos erupted violently, thunderstorms destroyed small & large villages within her, she was a mess.

"Uh.. yeah, I'm fine.. you shouldn't worry about me" She said, her voice shaking a bit. She would have settled just for getting through this without her voice breaking. _Please don't do anything stupid.. Please don't embarrass yourself.. _repeated in her mind. She felt her whole self shake now.

_Stop shaking you stupid Mei, stop it now! _She cried to her self.

All of a sudden Kai was holding her, tightly, so that her shaking stopped, or at least subsided from the surprise of his embrace.

"I do worry about you Mei. I care about you" He said.

Once again she was in this situation where her heart whispered promises of nice things to her mind. It felt nice to be so close to someone. To hear that someone cares... well, honestly, it just felt really really nice to hear that Kai cared. She wanted to stay like this forever. Feeling his strong arms around her, holding her tightly, protecting her from everything from the outside world. She noticed her mind wasn't racing anymore. Everything within her was calm. _I could really fall asleep like this,_ she thought to herself. And she almost sort of did.

Kai noticed her sleepiness & without even a warning he picked her up. "I think you should rest Mei. Point me to your bedroom"

Mei had grown too tired to over-analyze things anymore, so she just went with it & pointed to her bedroom door. He carried her into her bedroom & lay her on the bed before looking around.

Marshmellow, who had been peacefully sleeping on the bed, had jumped off to avoid being squished by Mei. Instead he was now inspecting Kai carefully. Kai reached down to pet Marshmellow & Marshmellow looked like he had taken Kai into acceptance.

Then Kai turned to Mei. He pulled the covers over her. "Well, I should go, I just really wanted to see if you were okay, since you're never sick... it just had me very worried." he said, looking awkwardly to the floor, then returning her gaze with a smile. "Bye Mei" he said with his charming smooth voice that always managed to melt her from the inside.

As he gestured to leave, Mei heard herself say "I'm sorry..". Kai turned around & looked at her puzzled.

"Im sorry for running away yesterday.." she said with a shaky voice, not sure what she was doing.

Kai gave her his signature smile & looked at her with his dreamy eyes. "Dont worry about it Mei. Just get some sleep & get better soon. Then I'll be happy." he said & then he was gone. And just in time, because Mei fell asleep immediately after.

Mei's dreams were a blurry mix of emotions, passion, Kai, school, running, hugging, unbearable feelings that threatened to burst out of her whenever she was around Kai.

She woke up to her mothers hands, gently pushing her a bit.

"Hey sleepyhead, how are you feeling?" her mother said to her in a sweet tone.

"Better" Mei answered, too tired to elaborate further on the matter & her mother patted her on the shoulder with a caring smile & got up to go make dinner.

Mei lay in bed & her mind turned to the hug Kai gave her. She got all warm & fuzzy inside, her lungs forgetting how to be lungs for a brief moment, as if they wanted to be a part of her heart instead. Her heart that was racing with excitement & warm feelings. _I guess thats more exciting than being lungs..._ she thought, so she forgave them.

Mei turned in bed & tried to push away the creeping fantasy of being in Kai's hug & kissing him, & hearing him say sweet things to her.

She remembered herself in the same position a good while ago. In humor & some seriousness she said to herself; _"I shouldn't think about pointless things.."_

She could however feel a tingling excitement about going to school tomorrow & seeing Kai.. She wasn't afraid anymore, of what would happen or what she would do. Kai was sweet & made her feel safe, not afraid.. It was just herself.. making herself afraid.

She would smile at him tomorrow.. She really would.


End file.
